Blog you

So Demetri Martin is one of my favorite comedians. He tries to combined different aspects to stand up comedy. Like music, or drawing pictures, or having scenes about what's going on in his head while he narrates. He's a Yale grad and a NYU law school dropout. You can find him at weird times on comedy central. But for now, and if you're unfamiliar with this gaiter playing stud, here's a few well used lines to help you know, so when you here them at college, or around town, you can be like "hey, I know that badass demetri. He's alright."
From the 'dude, it's a demetri martin fansite':

I use this product called "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." Because sometimes when I'm eating toast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' "Dude, these are isotopes." "Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine." "Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize."

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is. I gotta go by the outfit. Pants - uh oh. Bathing suit - okay. Naked - we'll see.

I think it's interesting that "cologne" rhymes with "alone."

'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of - it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like after "I love you" or "You're going to live."
I quote this one durring mike checks at the church

you always here about the boy who was raised by wolves, but you never hear about the next generation? The guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves. That's got to be hard, you've got a non wolf imparting wolf teachings on another non-wolf. 'dad stop sniffing my butt, I'm going to be late to school."

last one was from his site, enjoy. Otherwise, go away.